This was one of the fist things we were taught during cross-cultural lessons a year and a half ago: the drastic differences between the way Americans and Ukrainians do business.
We Americans, we go into a meeting with all the details to be discussed prepared and ready, we sit down, we talk about what needs to be taken care of, then we end the meeting, usually with a firm handshake. Quick. Efficient. Clear division between business and pleasure.
We Americans now living in Ukraine were told that we’d have to rethink that whole process for 2 years. Ukrainians don’t separate the business aspect and the personal aspect of relationships. My manager told us that even with our landlords, we would have to make sure to remain polite and friendly, because if a landlord doesn’t like you, then she will simply get rid of you, even it it’s bad business—would rather live without a tenant than work with a tenant she didn’t like.
Business meetings, we were warned, will involve tea, cookies, chatter, late arrivals and no sense of urgency. Maybe we’d discuss the business that we were meeting to conduct, but don’t push the topic. Let the conversation float towards business naturally, then watch the moment pass. If you’re lucky, things will get back on topic, but don’t stress when you leave the meeting feeling like nothing was really accomplished. Because in Ukraine, everything will be taken care of. Later. Probably.
This is essentially how our meeting for Camp SLAM went last weekend. Ben arranged for our Camp Director, one of the counselors and me (all PCVs) to meet with the director of the technicum where the camp will take place this summer. We met him. And his wife (who is an English teacher at the technicum, and just as in charge as he is). And his 2 daughters. And his cousin. And his cousin’s wife. And their son. It was a family event.
We sat down in the family’s living room at a table overflowing with food dishes, as is typical of most Ukrainian gatherings. There never seems to be enough room on the table when Ukrainians cook large meals. We all commented that this was equivalent to other holiday meals we’d experienced here in Ukraine, but we were laughed at. Told that this was nothing. Just a little meal for friends.
When the first course soup was gone, we were given an amazing potato dish, all the while talking about ourselves, our lives, the family, everything but camp. We were encouraged to sample from the dishes on the table, tea and coffee was brought out, along with a homemade cake. Somehow, almost miraculously, the conversation turned to camp, and two Americans on one end of the table had a conversation with the Director while the other two of us had the same conversation with his wife, trying desperately to listen to what the others were saying to make sure we were giving and receiving the same information. Oh, and this was all while the cousin, his wife, and the 2 girls chatted at the table with and around us.
Camp conversation ended abruptly. I can’t exactly remember why, there was so much happening. Somewhere between the shots of homemade wine and vodka, we were all gathered into the hallway to watch the youngest daughter perform a gymnastics routine (complete with face paint, leotard and spot light) on the bar/ring set that had been installed for home practice. Not long after that we all sat down in front of the TV to watch a home video of the family’s dog. Then cossack and naval uniforms were brought out, and Ben had to dress up and take pictures with the Ukrainian men. We never got the chance to look through the 5 family photo albums the youngest daughter had set out for us.
At 5 we had to excuse ourselves, repeatedly turning down offers to just spend the night in their apartment. We were meeting them at 7:30 the next morning to get a tour of the technicum, and recuperation was necessary.
Maybe it’s because we’ve all been in Ukraine for a while, but the general consensus between the Americans was that the meeting went well. We all were impressed with the way things were handled, organized, discussed. I mean, we did leave with more questions than answers, such as how would we would drive all 100 campers to the lake everyday with only a bus for 20? Where would we get enough tents for 100+ people when we go camping? What would everyone sleep on/in if we do find tents? But really, we all felt good about the direction things are going.
Isn’t that funny? I really don’t think I would have had the same sentiments if I had had such a meeting about such a massive project a year and a half ago. I guess the most reassuring part of the meeting was knowing that this couple, and their family, are people we can trust, communicate with, work with. If we have a problem, they will help us fix it. If we have a question, they will help us find an answer. In short, a relationship has been established, and that’s not only the first step, but possibly the most important step, for doing business in Ukraine. At least for PCVs.
Anyways, if you want to donate to this camp for which I threw back a few shots last weekend, the link is: https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=343-228
