As I cleaned my apartment this afternoon, spawning the peevish, apartment hating post below, I listened to a NPR Talk of the Nation podcast about American schools and the difficulties of their budget woes. If American schools solved their budget problems the Ukrainian way…
- there would be no lights on in the hallways.
- lights in classrooms would be restricted only to picture-taking events or upon the arrival of a special visitor.
- the school would not provide toilet paper in the bathrooms.
- and since you’re not wiping, you won’t need soap or hand drying materials either.
- the school year would be 1 to 2 months shorter.
- 90% of students would finish their lessons by 1:30 in the afternoon.
- team sports would be almost non-existent, and there would certainly be no competing with teams more than 20 minutes away.
- arts activities such as drawing, painting, dancing, singing and theater would be offered outside of school by an organization underfunded by the government.
- chalk would be provided by the teachers.
- there would be no copy machines, printers with ink, free paper, or classroom materials.
- classroom repairs, such as new windows or bookshelves would be paid for by home room students.
- Fall breaks and Spring breaks would be 2 weeks long each and Christmas break would be almost a month in the opportune instance of a quarantine.
- holidays on Tuesday’s or Thursday’s would translate into non-school days for their respective Monday’s and Friday’s.
- air conditioning wouldn’t exist.
- as well as fans of any kind.
- in the winter, heat would only be provided according to the judgement of the national government, and if American schools wanted to follow this year’s plan, heat wouldn’t be provided until November 1.
- only 2 people in the entire school would have internet access.
- teachers would be paid an average of $300 a month, not by salary, but by classroom hours worked.
America, it might be difficult, but you’re gonna pull through.
